Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
operation have a gay friend backfired
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
