ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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