Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
