Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
