so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
