My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
