Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
