I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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