I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
