I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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