I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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