so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
