She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
