Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Randomize
