R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
