Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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