just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
