if i died would you start the facebook group?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
