Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
