It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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