love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
