I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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