do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
