TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
