This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
