yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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