Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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