your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
