found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
