I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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