I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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