remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
