he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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