At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
