Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
