So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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