i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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