You're completely useless in the revolution.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
