hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
