bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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