I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
