I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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