normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
