I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
