Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
