i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
