Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
