THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
