I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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