im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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