Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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